Stickler launches the STUCK YOU tour
By: Richard J. Chapel
New York, NY-April 15, 2001-Stealth Communications, operated by
the elusive and mysterious Stickler, launched its STUCK YOU tour in
New York City today. The Stickler, thought to be a mild mannered
businessman with innovative ideas about communications, began posting
stickers warning of the dangers associated with conforming to politically
correct corporate agendas. While the warning label campaign is the major
thrust of the STUCK YOU tour, The Stickler is also working
on behalf of food service employees (Employees Must Wash Genitals Before
Returning to Work) and the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to animals
(Save the Dogs labels posted exclusively on fire hydrants.)
Burger King bans The Sticker
New York, NY-April 16, 2001-The Stickler, AKA Rich Chapel (according
to a NYC Police Report), was ejected from a Burger King franchise on Canal Street
in the SoHo section of New York City for illegally posting warnings in the men's room.
A sticker admonishing employees to "Wash Genitals Before Returning to Work" had
been affixed to the mirror in the rest room. A Burger King Assistant Manger surprised
Mr. Chapel while he was preparing to affix other bogus warning stickers.
"I knew this guy was trouble when he ordered breakfast," noted the Assistant Manager.
"He was fooling around with these labels and getting them stuck all over himself.
He could hardly get out his wallet due to stickers on his fingers. When he headed to the
rest rooms, I decided to see what he was up to. When I surprised him, he was attempting
to slap a sticker on the toilet."
The management of Stealth Communications, the company that employs Mr. Chapel,
refused comment on the arrest. A spokesman would say only that Mr. Chapel was
supposedly taking a business related education course and that "no one at Stealth
Communications knows anything about the "STUCK YOU" tour."
Burger King denies use of "toilet cam" surveillance
New York, NY-April 17, 2001-Reports from the rest rooms of Burger King restaurants
all over New York City suggests that the fast food chain has installed surveillance cameras
in its bathrooms. Official in appearance, labels announcing the "Toilet Cam is for Research
Purposes Only," began appearing on Sunday, April 16, 2001.
A spokesperson for Burger King linked the warning labels to an individual arrested in a
Canal Street Burger King for placing unauthorized warning labels in the rest rooms.
"We think a company known as Stealth Communications is targeting Burger King and
attempting to discredit our bathroom facilities," stated a Burger King official. "A Mr.
Rich Chapel, who insisted he be referred to as The Stickler, was caught in the act and
charged with vandalism on Monday. However, he was released and we presently do not
know where he is. His employer, Stealth Communications, claims to have no knowledge
of his motives or methods, but we think this is part of a larger conspiracy."
You can send my Dad comments about his work, his stories,
and even about his son at chapelr@fraserpapers.com